I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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