dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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