omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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