party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
