forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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