I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
