I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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