i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
