The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
