At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize