We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
