How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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