You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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