just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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