we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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