You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
