Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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