i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
