last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
