idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
