theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
