I heard we made out
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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