READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
