I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
