Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
