just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
A bitchslap is in order.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
