Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
