Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We need a shit load of segways right now
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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