three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
