wake up i wanna do it froggy style
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
