i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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