I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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