All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
