weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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