Just mADE A PArabola og urine
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
