By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
