He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
