she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No stitches, just platelets and will power
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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