nut hugger
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
