using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
