My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
farters have to be the big spoon...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
