He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
