we'll go far in life on tits alone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
