I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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