thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
