okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
