Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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