im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
