She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
