But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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