butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
